Welcome to the DarkSyde!

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
ruffboijuliaburnsides
emilybeemartin

I saw a post saying that Boromir looked too scruffy in FotR for a Captain of Gondor, and I tried to move on, but I’m hyperfixating. Has anyone ever solo backpacked? I have. By the end, not only did I look like shit, but by day two I was talking to myself. On another occasion I did fourteen days’ backcountry as the lone woman in a group of twelve men, no showers, no deodorant, and brother, by the end of that we were all EXTREMELY feral. You think we looked like heirs to the throne of anywhere? We were thirteen wolverines in ripstop.

My boy Boromir? Spent FOUR MONTHS in the wilderness! Alone! No roads! High floods! His horse died! I’m amazed he showed up to Imladris wearing clothes, let alone with a decent haircut. I’m fully convinced that he left Gondor looking like Richard Sharpe being presented to the Prince Regent in 1813

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*electric guitar riff*

And then rocked up to Imladris a hundred ten days later like

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emilybeemartin

Some people have been wondering about the raccoon. Listen. Listennn. Don't ask about the raccoon.

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figmentforms-the-human
spaceshipsandpurpledrank

loupgawou

Video Description:

Man in an office is holding a stunt safe foam rubber cinder block:  This is a prop foam rubber cinder block, that way we can smack an actor with it, and it won’t kill him.  [man throws the prop at his coworker’s head].  But if it DID kill him, I’d still get off scot-free

Coworker [off-screen]:  How would you do that, Scott?

Scott:  Because there’d be no concrete evidence.

Coworker: [throws foam rubber cinder-block at Scott’s head]

mariposakitten
notfromcold

Classic sea shanties like:

"I fucking hate this ship and I cannot wait to get off."

"I got off the ship on the dock but I know I'm going to get back on the ship when my leave is up. Fuck."

"Storm."

"Big storm."

"Is it just me or does this ship have like. Really clean lines. Like damn. Okay. Not saying I'm feeling attracted to the ship, per se, but. Damn."

"Sometimes you see weird shit that you cannot explain and you just kinda have to shrug and go. Welp."

notfromcold

Not to forget crowd favorites like:

"Pull harder or we are all going to die."

"Bad working conditions."

"Fucking pay me my wages, you asshole."

seaglassandeelgrass

And the perennial favourites:

"God I Need A Drink"

"I Am Drunk And Cannot Find My Clothing"

"Listen To This Cautionary Tale Of: Don't Fall Overboard"

"My Sweetheart Has Left Me, Guess I'll Go Be Miserable At Sea"

"Whale. Big Fish."

"The Food Sucks. So Do The Wages. And The Mate Is A Bastard."

"Spent All My Money, Oops."

"Our Ship Can Kick Your Ship's Stern."

"Shipwreck."

"Nautical Gibberish That Was Probably Once Actual Words, Maybe."

"Hey, Remember That Guy? He's Dead."

"I Have Not Seen A Woman In Six Months."

"Mapquest Directions, But Rhyming."

"Whatever You Do, Don't Go To Sea. Goodbye, I'm Off To Sea."

mariposakitten

"Alas, I Must Leave My Wife! Next Stop: Wife 2.0 At The Next Port"